If only he'd said it
by Detective-Inspector-Me
Summary: Donna often thinks of all the opportunities Harvey's had to tell her he loves her. Now, she thinks he never will.
1. Chapter 1

Donna knew how he felt. She knew that he loved her. She could see it. When she looked back at their time together, he'd done so much for her. But he couldn't say it. He would never be able to tell her how he felt, she just had to know for herself. He'd had so many opportunities and she thought about them often.

'What if he'd said it?' she thought, 'what if he finally was able to tell me?'


	2. Chapter 2

'Think about what your life would be like without her.' Jessica said, so Harvey did. He thought about what would happen if Donna left, and he felt his eyes darken and his face fall at the very thought. Donna had become like air to him in the last number of years, he couldn't function without her.

A small smile crossed his lips and he replied, 'now I know.' Jessica gave him a knowing smile and he left.

When he got back to the desk, he noticed she wasn't there, and after his previous conversation got worried. He went to his desk and saw the small orange post-it which read 'Photocopying contracts. Be right back. Donna' Harvey smiled. 'Perfect', he thought.

He lifted another couple of post-it's. On one he wrote 'at lunch' at stuck it to the outside of his glass door. On the other, he wrote 'closed until further notice.' He stuck this note to the door of the file room.

He pushed open the door and suddenly remembered the last time he'd been here must have been before he made partner. He following the familiar clicking of the photocopier and eventually found Donna at the back of the room, wrestling with jammed page. he slowly walked up behind her and placed two hands on her hips. She let out a small gasp and spun round. When she was facing him, he gently pushed her out of the way with his left hand.

'What are you doing here? I'm just photocopying, I've done it a thousand-' Donna was cut off as he swiftly pulled the jammed paper from the copier and handed it to her.

'Thanks,' she replied, and moved back towards the copier expecting Harvey to move. But he didn't. He just stood. She assumed it was a joke and gave him a bemused look. But, when she met his eye she saw something else. Not humour, not friendship, something else. Her expression changed to confusion and he kissed her. At first he felt her struggle and try to get away, so he placed his hand firmly in the small of her back until she relaxed into him and linked her own hands around the back of his neck. He walked towards her pushing her into one of the huge shelves and causing a box to falter and then fall to the other side.

They stopped for a moment and looked at the box, then at each other, and then resumed their previous activity.

After several moments and countless awkward positions, Donna pulled away and looked Harvey in the eye.

'Why?' she asked, simply.

'Because,' Harvey answered, 'because I thought about what my life would be like without you.'

Donna smiled, satisfied with the answer and pulled him in again.


	3. Chapter 3

Finally, the can opener was placed into the box. I couldn't look at the mass of stuff and so put the lid on quickly. I looked to Harvey's office and was sad when he wasn't there, he didn't even want to see me off.

Slowly, I walked to the elevators, getting both glares and puppy dog eyes from every person I met. When I got to the elevator, Harvey was standing by the door. I hoped he'd say something. Anything. But he didn't he simply called the elevator for me.

If he wasn't going to say anything, neither was I, two could pay at this game.

I got to the open door and turned to look at him in a final bid to say something, but he didn't and I didn't, and I left.

In the elevator it took all my energy not to burst into tears, I had to stay composed until I got to the cab. I had to. I'm Donna for Christ sake! When the doors opened on the ground floor I almost lost my cool and dropped by box. Harvey was standing, panting like a dog as the door opened. As I looked down at the mass of broken photo frames and glass wear, he stepped towards me and caught my chin with his finger, pulling my eye line up to meet his. I looked up at him and he must've saw the tears in my eyes. He stepped closer, avoiding as much of the debris as he could.

'I forgot to tell you,' he began 'Ray's out front, you can take my car.' I rolled my eyes and bent down, lifting only one thing, the can opener, before I manoeuvred my way past him and out into the foyer. When I got to the street, I saw Ray's car but walked past it and continued down the street, I didn't eve stop to hail a cab. I just kept moving. Walking away from my job. Walking away from my things. Walking away from Harvey.

When I finally got to the first crossing, I stopped until the lights changed, when I began to walk I felt something warm slip into my other hand, contrasting against the feel of the cool metal I was holding. I spun round, really wishing I'd taken the pepper spray out of the stupid box instead of the can opener. I spun round, ready to pound this guy in the temple with the can openers handle when I realised it was Harvey. I sighed and loosened my grip on the can opener.

'What?' I sighed, as I watched the light turn red again.

'You weren't in the car.' He responded.

'Well done Sherlock, I wasn't going to steal your stupid car.' I tried to pull away again, but he tightened his grip.

'Donna,' he snapped, 'would you just hear me out?'

'Why should I?' Harvey seemed shell shocked and I watched his mouth open and close several times before he formed any kind of coherent thought. Even then, words didn't come to him. Instead he released my hand and pulled me into him mashing my lips against his. I pulled away after a moment, panting and watched as a huge smile grew on his face.

'I will never let you go,' he responded and pulled me back into him again.


	4. Chapter 4

'That's enough' Harvey found himself calling as he stood from his chair. He'd had enough. He couldn't sit there and listen to Louis' attack anymore. He was done. He met eyes with Donna and could see the anger in her as much as he could see her amazing fiery hair. She stood from the chair and snatched up her bag.

Harvey felt his heart break a little as he watched her leave. As the door closed behind her he realised he couldn't let her go again. 'Donna!' he called as he ran after her out of the mock-court room. 'Donna,' he watched her get into the lift and got there just in time to sandwich his hand between the two doors. As the doors opened, he saw the shock and remaining anger on her face. He hated that she was looking at him this was, even more so, he hated that she was looking at him this way because he'd tried to stand up for her.

'What Harvey? Here to let every single person in this office think I love you?' Harvey felt what was left of his heart shatter and stepped fully into the lift. 'Don't you love me?' he asked, trying to have it come off as a joke but failing miserably when his voice broke on the final word.

Donna only blinked, shell shocked by his question. 'Of course not,' she replied.

'Oh,' Harvey replied and stepped closer so they were mere inches apart, 'are you sure?' he whispered, his warm breathing hitting her skin and sending chills through her body.

'Yes Harvey, I'm sure.' She replied.

Harvey leant down and kissed her passionately, causing her to be thrown back on to the wall of the lift. He lifted her hands and pinned them to the wall with his. She lifted a leg and linked it around his pulling him closer.

Once Harvey got a grip with his senses he unhooked his lips from hers and let her hands fall to her sides.

He turned and pressed the button for the ground floor. 'You still sure you don't love me?' he asked again.

Donna was still backed against the wall and panting, although she felt stupid for thinking it meant anything more than simply proving a point.

He turned back round to look at her, expecting an answer. She began, 'well, now I'm not so sure I can lie to you anymore.'

Harvey gave a smug smile and turned back to the front of the elevator, pressing the emergency stop button and pinning her back to her previous position.


	5. Chapter 5

'No one's leaving you.' Donna stated simply. She knew that Zoe's leaving must have had an effect on Harvey, but she had no idea it had hit him this hard.

Harvey looked up from his desk at her and saw the concern in her eyes. He nodded meekly, doing nothing to help her felt more confident he was ok.

Donna came round the desk and stood behind him, resting a hand on each of his shoulders. Harvey dropped his pen to the desk and Donna spun him around in his chair, fully enclosing him in a hug.

They stayed like this for what seemed like an eternity until Donna finally lost all feeling in her legs. She patted him on the back and pulled away from him, leaving him to get back to work.

A moment later, he was at her desk spinning her around in her own desk chair. He steadied her chin with his finger and kissed her. Only briefly, but still in a way that meant they couldn't be called 'friends'. When he pulled away he looked her in the eye and said, with the most sincerity Donna had ever seen from him, 'I'll never you either.' Donna nodded, and he went back to his desk, but the idea of working fried his brain. He simply sat, and watched his girl through the glass.


	6. Chapter 6

'Look at you, beautiful' Harvey said, and Donna felt her heart flutter, 'you got a date?' this second section confused her somewhat, until she realised he hadn't meant her, he'd meant his glamorous, rich boss who was coming toward them.

Donna didn't catch the rest of the conversation until Jessica told Harvey to take down Hardmans name.

After Jessica was gone, Donna felt her face turn beet red and she quickly said goodbye to Harvey. When she got in the elevator, she pressed the close button as many times as possible in a bid to get away from him and sort through her feelings. But then, the lift stopped, and she felt it go back up again. Shit. Harvey had called back the elevator. When the doors opened, she saw his confused face staring at her and then, a light bulb hit him. That being said, only Donna would have noticed as it was gone and fast as it had appeared.

'Thought we could share a lift down.' He said as he stepped into the elevator.

'Sure.' Donna replied, her voice stuttering slightly.

When the doors closed and they began to descend.

Harvey turned his head and leaned down to whisper in her ear. 'You're always beautiful.'

Donna felt herself blush slightly but made no other, more voluntary reaction. When the lift arrived on the ground floor, she made a move to leave but found that there was something around her wrist, upon further examination she realised it was Harvey. Harvey was on her wrist, clutching her tight enough to know she wouldn't squirm free, but still loose enough to not hurt her.

Harvey overtook her and essentially dragged her through the foyer and out into the car with Ray.

'Ray,' he directed, 'my place please.'

'No,' Donna replied, 'my place please.'

Harvey leaned released her wrist and shuffled to the middle seat so he was sitting beside her, then he closed the car door and on the way back, stopped to give her a quick yet passionate kiss. After he broke away, Donna amended her previous response, 'Sorry Ray, change of plans, Harvey's place will be just fine.'


	7. Chapter 7

Yes, Donna had thought of all the times Harvey could have told her how he felt. But he never did, and so, she assumed, that Harvey didn't really have these feelings and that it was all in her head.

By the time the annual office party came around. All Donna wanted was to laugh, drink and have sex with the mayors son… or the mayor… or the mayor and his son (but not at the same time, that would just be gross.). When she arrived fashionably-late at the party she took over her coat and entered the room, as always, like she owned it. Those in front of her saw her expensive make-up and hair and those behind saw the view of her expensive backless dress. It wasn't until she looked to the upper level and saw Jessica and Harvey laughing over some joke that every shred of confidence evaporated. She made a quick detour to the bar and ordered a drink as soon as the bar tender stopped performing his goldfish impression.

Meanwhile, Harvey was talking to Jessica about some contract, but kept an eye on the crowd below, he knew Donna had to be here somewhere, she had to be. Then he saw he, in a fabulous dress and he gasped a little. He watched as the crowd split down the middle for her to pass, with all the men showing total love and the women complete jelousy. Harvey had to restrain himself and try not to laugh, but he couldn't and it escaped, luckily it must've tied in with Jessica's story as she laughed too.

Soon Donna would spot him and come to meet him and save him from this conversation. When he looked down again, he had lost her in the crowd, she had been headed right towards them and he assumed she'd seen him, but maybe not. He scanned the room and saw her at the bar. At the next opportunity, he excused himself and made his way down to the bar. When he arrived, she was talking to a young man he'd never met before, but knew instantly, he was famous. He was the mayors son. The mayors son whom Donna had dated in her youth. the mayors son who Harvey had frequent dreams about in which he either punched, choked or smothered him. God, he hates this kid.

'Excuse me Donna, could I speak to you for a moment?' Harvey asked and put out a hand, directing Donna to the foyer of the building.

'No.' she replied, and turned back to the baby-faced politician.

'Huh?' Harvey replied, slightly baffled by the response.

'No Harvey, why don't you just go back to your girlfriend – sorry – I mean't _boss _and leave me here to talk to the lovely… I'm sorry, what's your name again?'

'Ok, that's it.' Harvey said adamantly and placed his hand firmly on Donna's upper arm.

'What the hell do you think you're doing?' Donna replied.

'Escorting you to a meeting. Your boss wants to have a word with you.' Donna rolled her eyes and stood from the chair while Harvey pulled her through the crowd, not once releasing the hold he had on her upper arm. When they arrived in the foyer, Harvey let go of her arm and turned to face her.

'What the hell is wrong with you tonight Donna?' Harvey asked, now growing a little pissed off.

'What's wrong with me? What's wrong with _you? _I've given you half my life, getting you coffee and cases and promotions and what have I got? Fired, yelled at and sarcasm. You've done nothing for me Harvey, in all the years I've known you you've never done one thing for me, but I didn't care because I was so in love with you that I was happy to just sit and watch you day after day and year after year. I was happy to accept that no matter how much cleavage you saw, you were never going to care about me that way. I was always just going to be your assistant. Your pathetic, gullable, love struck assistant. Well I'm done. Why don't you and Jessica just ride off into the sunset together and leave me alone.' With that, Donna pushed Harvey in the chest causing him to stumble back a few steps as she stormed towards the exit.

After a quick recovery, Harvey rushed after her, grabbing her by the arm once again. This time, when Donna swung round she slapped him across the face and he loosened his grip a little, but not enough that she could get away.

'Let me go!' she screamed and Harvey felt every eye on that busy street turn to him.

In a bid to shut her up and to stop the dirty looks he was getting Harvey released her arm and placed both hands on her hips, pulling her towards him and causing her lips to crash into his. At first he left it like this, just until she melted into him, then he deepened the kiss. They could never go back.

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